Single Player is the Worst!



Single Player is the Worst!

This is a short rant written in the early hours of the morning when I should be sleeping. Enjoy.


So I had planned to review 2 new games released by GMA games. But one wouldn’t work on my computer and the other while I did play it made me write this instead of a review.
So lets talk about single player games and why they are the worst.

My Issue

Sure not all single player games are the worst. Some are fine ignoring the mass of just shit games in general.
My issue here is all about multi player games that have been made single player for no good reason.
This is things like monopoly and poker that have no right being single player games.
It is 2021 why would you want a single player poker game.
Surely we are past the point of crappy single player games giving us much entertainment.

An Example

So what inspired this article was the Release of GMA home poker.
I am actually a fan of poker and my real first introduction to the audio game world was on All in Play more than 10 years ago.
But Home Poker is about as pointless as games go.
Poker is meant to be a fun game you play with friends. You take the human element out of it, and you are literally just playing the lonely life simulator.
I am not saying bots can’t exist in poker, But they should be there as a basic training tool. Bots are useful for helping you learn to play the game before you play with friends or even strangers online.
This is all made worse by the fact Home poker actually has several really fun variants of Poker I haven’t seen in an Audio game before. But it isn’t fun when playing against bots, when they become predictable after 20 minutes and suddenly I am just winning all the chips.
We have no really good online poker game in the audio games community, but this is not a good substitute.

but Hannibal

I can already hear people bitching at me.
Hannibal what if we don’t have Internet connection? What if I want to learn to play the game? What if I don’t have friends who like these games?
If you don’t have Internet connection of course you can play single player games to kill the time. But fuck you don’t need to play monopoly alone. Just wait till you can get online or play in person with people. In the mean time play many of the fine titles that are meant to be single player.
Yes single player things can help people learn the game. But the truth is you could learn just as easily by reading the fucking instructions and paying at tension. Sure maybe have some bots as a tutorial in things like poker. Maybe some easy tables with bots to help people understand everything. But have that as part of the online experience or just as a tutorial.
Get new friends!
Alright maybe don’t go that far but I am sure you can find people to play with. If things are public I am sure people would want to play.
By the way I am in the market for some new friends who like bingo. DM me if interested.

Final Thoughts

Who knows maybe you all love these shitty single player games and I am just screaming in to the void here.
But maybe if we raise our standard just a little we can get better versions of these games.


Tell me why I am wrong in the comments below. I mean you can agree with me as well but that is much less fun.

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One Reply to “Single Player is the Worst!”

  1. Hannibal you are wrong. I would go into all the reasons you are wrong, but there are just so many of them that we can just work under the assuption that you are wrong because you are wrong, and you couldn’t be more wrong if your name was Captain Wrongness. … That was fun. Thank you.

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