Twitter : I Guess


140 characters is for chumps

Strong Language!

What happens when you drink 3 out of 4 days, wake up on Thursday and realise you have not written a single word for a blog you usually post on Fridays. Simple you post on twitter asking for a topic. Get only 1 idea. So write some bullshit on that. So here goes a ramble about twitter.

Where the fuck do I start?

Seriously where do I start? Twitter is full of both the best and worst of human kind.
Do I start with that guy you follow from high-school. The one who could count his followers on the digits of 1 hand. Who posts so little you can remember every tweet for a hole year? They know that they don’t have anything worth saying so they don’t bother. They just follow their local sports team to catch player up dates. Their is nothing wrong with this by the way. But they don’t make for a good rant.
Perhaps we should talk about that stubby fingered prick currently president of the USA. Tweeting from a golf cart with out a care for how his words might have a negative impact for the millions of people that follow him.
But just maybe we should leave John Smith and Donald Trump out of this. Perhaps we should talk about the middle ground. Those people who have a modest number of followers. The ones who have got those followers by being charming, funny or a lovable prick. The ones who went follow for follow or hash tag tweet up a few followers.
But perhaps its not the people but the content they are putting out that we should be focusing on. So no matter if you are a infrequent tweeter with no followers. Or a jumped up cunt with millions. You can put out bad content.

Quality is subjective

The grate thing about writing this article is it means I have to be some what self aware while doing it. Quality of twitter posts is completely subjective. Just like this article. You might hate every thing I write here. Just like I might hate all of your stupid tweets. But who gives 2 flying fucks. Its not a crime to share our opinions…. yet.
How ever we can break down a few things that are good. A few things that are bad. Perhaps even some middle ground stuff.
Advertising. This can both be a good and a bad thing. getting followers for people who deserve them is always a good thing. But some times you don’t want to see OMG! follow this person every 3 minutes for a week.
That reminds me check out my new podcast Twitter account @NEDT_podcast for some grate shit.
Racism and hate speech. Oh here we go an Australian lecturing on racism. Wait is that racist. I’m not sure. I’ll get back to you all on that. But to the point. Don’t be that fucking asshole that thinks its cool to spout this shit. Freedom of speech is one thing. But that’s not a defence for being a total cunt. You don’t have to actively be part of a solution. But fuck knows you don’t have to be part of the problem.
Insert any number of racist jokes here.
Really corny jokes. Wow ok so we are just flipping the tables. From racism to dad jokes. Now this is where I can’t stress the subjective thing enough. Yes they might make you cringe. They certainly aren’t all going to be funny. But remember that those stupid jokes you hate. Some people actually do find them funny. What you want an example. Sure why not.
What do you call a dog that’s also a magician?
A labra cadabra dor.
I could keep going on other things you might find on Twitter that’s good or bad. But I think I just peaked with that joke. I think I should cut and run now. Just remember. What’s good to some is not good to all. What is bad to others is not bad to all. It is where you draw the line between bad and to far that is important.

280 Characters?

Will 280 characters make a big difference? The short answer is no, the long answer is still no but I can be more specific on why it’s no.
For those that found a way to get the point across in 140 characters. These people will likely continue in the exact same manner. Perhaps it will grow the number of characters they use every now and then. But for the most part nothing will change.
For those who 140 characters was never enough. Twitter never actually stopped them. Just putting chains of tweets up. All it means now is they have more space in individual tweets. So it will actually make things more compact.
But lets be real. If you can’t get your point across in 140 characters. Just start writing for a blog and post articles of absolute shit like this.


I have met many people with different ideas on why you should or shouldn’t follow people. From liking what they post. To hating their Profile picture.
I even know some one who is annoyed by people that follow more people then they have followers. That has nothing to do with anything I just thought I would mention it.
In the end if you like some ones tweets. Follow them. If you don’t either don’t follow in the first place, learn to ignore what they post, unfollow them or hide them from your feed.


This is the part where I would right my concluding thoughts. But I have not a fucking clue what my point is here.
Don’t eat the yellow snow?
What ever your take away from this article is I hope you found it fun to read.
Don’t accept candy from a creepy man in a van?
Feel free to comment with some of the things you love or hate about Twitter.

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A drunk kangaroo from Australia. Nuff said.
Follow Hannibal On Twitter @CaptainHannibal.

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