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Stupid questions!
Being blind has lots of different ups and downs. But sadly 1 of these is that people are likely to ask you some really stupid fucking questions. These come from so many different places and from so many different types of people. So let us discuss.
A short introduction
So I put the call out and wow did I get some interesting responses to go along with some of the dumb questions I already had.
So here I will talk about a bunch of dumb questions and maybe even give you some good responses for the next time you get asked any of these.
How do blind people have sex.
So the only people that ask this question either have not had sex. Or have only done it with lights on missionary position. These are the only explanations I can come up with for how you would believe having sex while blind is much different then you know when you are sighted.
While in school a girl once asked if because I was blind did I masturbate. This question struck me as odd at the time because it wasn’t how did I do it but if I did it because I was blind. Like being unable to see would remove my penis as well or something.
While on this topic 2 other fantastic questions others had been asked were. How do you know your partner has climaxed if you can’t see anything. And does sex feel better if your blind.
If you can’t tell if your partner has climaxed any other way then sight I feel sorry for you. But yes sex does feel better if your blind. At least that is what I will tell every sighted person from now on.
How do blind people wipe there ass?
This 1 comes up so often it isn’t funny. I have seen comedians do bits on it. I have been asked it and honestly I am assuming that all sighted people have this question in there head rattling around until they get the chance to ask it.
So to help my fellow blind people of the world I offer the following 3 responses to that question. Use at your will.
1: I shit in a bucket and then go have a shower to clean off.
2: I wipe 42 times, no more and no less.
3: I pay some one to wipe it for me.
What’s it like being blind.
Well imagine you closed your eyes. Good now keep them close and fuck off.
Right that is a bit harsh but for any sighted people I want you to think of how you would explain being able to see to those who can’t.
If you ever get asked this just ask them to describe the colour red when you have no reference to colour.
Do you know sign language.
You might think that I am kidding but I have actually been asked this more then once.
When I was quite young my older brother had some friends over. 1 of them got offended because I wasn’t replying to her sign language.
The worst part was, my brother and his friend thought it was funny and I couldn’t see what was going on. It took more then 15 minutes of this before she worked out the problem.
Why don’t you go to *religious place* they have healed a lot of people.
Well let me explain it in terms you would understand.
Fuck you, fuck that! that would be a fucking waste of fucking time.
I can not stress this enough. If you want to go to church and prey and all that stuff fine. It likely won’t do you any harm. As long as you don’t choose that over actual medical help.
How do you put on a bra when you can’t see a mirror.
This came from some one on Twitter and it came along side another such question of “How do you use a tampon?”
Now as a male perhaps I am not the right person to answer these questions. How ever as a human with more then 3 brain cells I can offer what I believe is a reasonable explanation.
As any guy who remembers the awkward fumbling’s of teenage years the bra was always the worst part of any girls clothing. How ever with enough practice you could get that shit off no problem.
Now if an awkward teenage guy who is thinking with his penis can work out the complex nature that is a bra. a female with a fully functional brain would have absolutely no problem putting ona bra with out the use of a mirror.
As it goes with tampons, I would imagine there is a right way and a wrong way. I feel you would learn pretty fucking quickly if what you were doing was the wrong way. I am also sure any young woman having issues could find some one to talk to about such issues.
Final Thoughts
I had a few more that people gave me. Perhaps I could have kept writing. But really you get the idea.
Honestly most people have come to understand and accept that part of being blind is getting stupid fucking questions.
But who knows maybe I’ll get enough and write a part 2 of this some day. Let me know was I to hard on any of these questions/ Have you got more let me know in the comments below.