I won’t Write About Cake!

The cake is a lie!


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I don’t want to write about cake!

Fuck cake and everything it stands for! But how good is cake I mean it is amazing but fuck cake!

Introduction

Why is this a thing. Honestly how is this a thing why does this article exist. I can’t answer that. This article shouldn’t exist but it does so deal with it!
This article is being written for one reason and one reason only. Because I am not going to write about cake.
Now the first person to point out that in not writing about cake I am writing about cake gets shot.
I also need to point out that I have nothing against cake I just refuse to write about cake any more.

How this came about

I can’t tell you how many times I have struggled to come up with something to write for this blog. You may have noticed in the past I have written some less than brilliant stuff about stupid topics.
Hannibal write about cake. just do it. Fuck off!
I have been asked to write an article about cake several times. Even though cake has had some mentions in articles that apparently wasn’t good enough.
Well now I am putting my foot down! I say enough is enough and I am putting an end to this once and for all!

The deal

To everyone wanting cake articles I can tell you as long as I write for the BSG Blog I will not write any more articles about cake for free!
So if you want me to write about cake you have to make it worth my while. So here it is cards on the table if people want the best article I have ever written. A masterpiece and probably the finest work I will ever do for this blog all about cake. You have to come up with an offer. Other wise for fuck sake stop asking me to write about cake!
A few things that I will not accept as payment for this article.
Friend ship for life: Seems week plus what if your a cunt.
A free hug: No one likes hugs that much.
A can of tuna: not a fan of tuna.
Half a pack of gum and some pocket lint: That is just what you had in your pocket so hell no!
The complete works of Britney Speers: I have nothing against you if you are a fan of her but I am not.

An offer to the community

While I refuse to write this article that by no means stops some one else writing it.
If any one out in this wide world would like to write an article all about cake for the BSG Blog feel free to do so and submit it.
I am sure that this would put an end to people asking me to write about cake.

Conclusion

Fuck cake. Cake is amazing but I am not writing about it again!

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