BitLife Review

When real life rejection just isn’t Enough.


BitLife – Review – by Hannibal

Do crime. Yes lets do A crime. Everyone grab your crime doing boots we are doing a crime! We are going to do so much of the crime. We are going to crime all over this place.


This review is Thanks to Smoke suggesting I play and review this game. So sit back and enjoy.
Game: BitLife.
Platform: IOS.
Developer: Candywriter.

what is BitLife

This is a choose your own adventure text game that you play on your phone.
You start at 0 and work your way up one year at a time.
As you play you will be given choices and there are several things you can decide to do with out prompting.
Honestly I can’t say much more than that.

Game Play

The game play is extremely simple. Just pick shit to guide your character through there life.
Honestly there really isn’t much else to it.
The choices at times are pretty pointless and in some cases just strange for timing.
Nothing like an 88 year old man suddenly cheating on his 89 year old wife but hey apparently it happens.

Accessibility and functionality.

This game is accessible however I would add that its accessibility is not complete and at times kind of shit!
I found no way to use certain drop down menus so for example when I went to university I couldn’t pick what I would study. The same went for my weddings I could never select my venue so was stuck with the choice the game gave me.
Buttons for different choices could also end up scattered between the other buttons on the screen making it a pain to navigate your options some times.
Finally the story buffer is one long thing and the new information is put to the bottom. Leaving you to touch the screen till you find the bottom of the buffer, or swipe all the way down line by line.
While this game is mostly accessible it certainly has issues.

My Experience

Honestly I didn’t really have allot of fun playing this game. Between ads that popped up that I couldn’t get rid of. [you can stop them but it will cost you 3 dollars] To the fact most of it just feels so pointless. To the accessibility issues.
I just never really enjoyed this game.
If you were sitting in the back of a car with nothing to do for a few hours it might past the time. Other than I don’t see this game appealing to many.
I often found myself just skipping through years at a time just to get closer to the end.


I didn’t enjoy this game and despite its fairly simple nature I think more could be done to make it accessible.
3.5 out of 10.


Have you play Bitlife? What was your experience? What are some other games I should review?
Don’t forget to check out BSG on Patreon.

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One Reply to “BitLife Review”

  1. It’s interesting to read your review of BitLife! Your humorous take on the game’s concept and gameplay adds a unique flavor to your perspective. While the simplicity of gameplay is noted, it’s clear that you encountered some accessibility challenges that impacted your overall experience. Despite its shortcomings, your review offers valuable insights for potential players. Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts!

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