Balloon Master Review

Achievement Unlocked: Subtitle


Balloon Master Beta, Review by Hannibal.

Achievement unlocked running with safety scissors. You have found the joy of running with scissors, it is lost when they are safety scissors but you did it anyway.


Remember when you were a kid madly running around a room popping balloons that seemed to pop up and disappear periodically? Me neither.
Game: Balloon Master.
Developer: Ivan Soto.
Platform: PC.
Achievement unlocked, Reading the Introduction.

The game

The game works as follows.
You are placed in a square-like area. You can choose to assume it is a room however the floor of this area does sound like stones under your feet. The boarder around the edge sounds like some one tapping a whiteboard with a pencil so make of that what you will.
Now for reasons I am sure the party god above could answer this area is currently infested with balloons.
Before I go on, while I am sure no one cares I would like to point out that I don’t think I have ever used the word infested to talk about balloons before.
Now in memory of childhood fun it is time to pop balloons the way we all did as kids. By running up to them and pressing F.
That is how it worked right? Right?
Well at this time that is all of the game play so lets move on.
Achievement unlocked: On to the next paragraph.


So if you haven’t worked out by my use of them so far achievements are quite a big thing in this game.
Honestly they aren’t achievements. This has become a little bit of a theme in audio games where we have achievements. They stop meaning anything when you get them for literally everything!
Start the game have an achievement, Check the sounds, have another one. Close the game have a fucking achievement!
For fuck’s sake can we at least pretend these mean something for the love of all that is achievable?
Achievement unlocked: Reading about Achievements.

You thought I would stop

Oh no the running gag of achievement unlocked will continue even now that I have finished on the section about achievements.
Achievement unlocked: Pointless section.


So in the past I have paid for things in games to talk about them here on the blog.
I bought A Hero’s Call just so I could review it. I mean I was probably going to buy it anyway but I got it soon after release so I could review it.
I couldn’t really justify paying for this. It is a 5 dollar donation but right now all that gets is the online score board.
The promise of future content does ring a little hollow. Right now all we have is a very small game that honestly I wouldn’t say is worth 5 dollars.
Maybe in the future it will be worth it and all power to the developer if that is the case.
But for now I played it. I reviewed it and that is about as far as I will go for now.
Achievement unlocked: Penny pincher.


While I can’t argue the game works. What it does you can find in other games that are probably better and have more to them.
5.5 out of 10.

Click to go to the site for the game here.

Achievement unlocked: Link to a Website.


If the game gets more development would you be interested in a part 2 of this review. Have you played balloon master?
Achievement Unlocked: Support on Patreon.

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