oh my ears! my ears! oh make it stop!
Everyone has run across this in their Internet travels, but nearly all are too nice to say anything. Luckily I am enough of a jerk to break the silence and shine a light on this terrible thing we have all been enduring. Why do so many blind people all think they are the next Celine Dion? I pose this question without sarcasm, this has been going on for way too long, running rampant through every blind community. Some of these attempts at singing will make your ear wax bubble after just a few notes. We are in a world where players will lie saying a developer’s sounds have permanently damaged their hearing, yet no one can say anything about the atrocious singing posted on forums and web sites. Myself, personally I’ve had enough of this without anyone speaking out, and as a result one of two things are probably going to happen. Either you will agree, if you do click the like at the top of this post. Either that or you will think I am an ass hole and disagree, if this is the case click the dislike. We will see how it all shakes out after you finish reading the rest of this post.
What did you do with the money?
There were times in my youth where at a point of weakness I would softly sing parts to songs under my breath. We have all been guilty of this, however thankfully in my past I had someone to ask me, “what did you do with the money?”. The conversation would usually go something like this.
me: softly singing along to some random johnny cash song.
grandpa: What did you do with the money?
me: What money?
grandpa: The money your mother gave you for singing lessons.
grandpa: You sound like shit.
me thinking to myself: lesson learned.
I never got sad or upset about this, I never thought my grandpa was an ass hole. I simply just said to myself, yep I can’t sing, time to move on. This taught me a very important lesson, don’t ever sing in public and torture others with my voice. Now I will still make the occasional exception if I am way too drunk and Barbie ?Girl starts playing, but I blame the booze for this. Now the question to ask is, where was this person in others lives to tell them to zip it and stop torturing everyone else with their lack of singing powers. If they just had one person to explain to them the noises they were making sounded more like a back alley cat in heat than singing; maybe they could spend time on something productive instead of trying to deafen people with their voice.
This is not a problem with only blind people! Shut up Smoke!
Of course this is a true statement, it just happens to be a much higher percentage of blind people who are misguided about their singing powers than those who are sighted. We have all seen the failed auditions for The Voice or American Idol and how horrendous they are; this also stems from the same issue blind singers have. No one telling them they cannot sing at an early age, allowing them to continue making unexplainable animalistic sounds their brains interpret as beautiful singing. The issue is not if there are sighted people who suffer from the same thing, the issue is how many blind people post examples of their lack of singing to the Internet for everyone to consume. I believe I have at least a rough grasp on why this is an epidemic in the blind world, more so than with the sighted. Overall I have probably spent way to much time thinking on this subject, but then again if I hadn’t then this post would not exist.
Many blind people have a love for music, myself being one of them. Yes sighted individuals love music too, but it is different for those without sight. When you cannot see it is just reasonable that you then gravitate to everything auditory, music being one of the most popular things. You can use it to express your feelings, or it can completely change your mood depending on what you are listening to and the talent of the one performing the song. Music has a special ability to directly change your mood and views in the moment of that song or piece you are listening to. For someone without sight this is a purely audio stimulant where blind and sighted are on completely even playing fields, some might even say blind people are ahead because of their ability to pay attention more to the more Subtle audio nuances. It is just natural for us, those without sight to gravitate to music more and to have a deep appreciation for it.
Now this is where the story turns for the worse. I also have a great appreciation for MMA, but if I was to get in the octagon with the 10th ranked women’s feather weight in the UFC, she would make me eat my own balls inside of 1 minute while hitting me with my own hand asking me all the time why I’m hitting myself. I also say this assuming I am either blind or sighted, it would not matter, even with me being 6 foot 3, I would not stand a chance in hell. I appreciate what they can do, but I know I myself cannot do it. The same goes for singing, I can appreciate a good song, I can even tell what is good, meaning the artist has talent, or what is bad meaning the artist is a hack. All this but I still know I cannot actually do it myself. For many blind people this step from appreciating and enjoying something to thinking they are able to do it themselves seems normal, even though it is not at all. Liking something is not the same as being able to do something yourself, they are not even close, but this point is missed by so many.
We are all told as kids, follow your dreams, be what you want to be. The one thing they forgot to mention. If you are 5 foot six, you are not going to be in the NBA. if you are blind you are not going to be a pilot. If you pass out at the sight of blood you aren’t going to be a surgeon. Oh yeah, and I almost forgot, if you cannot sing you are not going to be a singer.
I don’t know if this is simply a side effect of the movement where everyone is a winner and we are all unique individual special snowflakes or what, but what ever the cause is please everyone stop it. I’m not saying start a online argument with everyone who can’t sing, but if you know someone who thinks they can but they can’t, do the world and that person a favor and please tell them the truth. Not only are you helping them move on from their delusional thoughts that they actually sound good, but you are doing everyone who they would of sung for in the future a favor. Are you being rude doing this? Well I say no but I come from a different time, where you didn’t tell people they are special and a winner if they were in fact not. What is so wrong with telling the truth, why has this been abandoned and replaced with making sure no one ever hurts another’s feelings. I’ll fill everyone in on a secret, the real world don’t give a damn about your feelings, the real world cares about the truth, progress, honesty, moving along. It is better to run into this earlier than later in life, if people don’t then they will never be emotionally equipped for the real world.
Smoke you are an ass hole
Yep that is probably true, but when it comes to this specific topic, no I’m not. There are those blind people who can sing, who have a hell of a voice. The thing is, how can they take any praise and believe it when they also hear the same praise being given to something that sounds like an arthritic elephant reaching a trumpeting orgasm. The answer is they cannot, when everything is good then nothing looks good. I am also not saying any of this to be mean, I honestly just want folks to know the truth. Telling someone they are bad at something is not being mean, it is just the facts, if you find that to be mean the issue lies with you not the one saying it. It is easy to just focus on oh this might hurt someone’s feelings, but completely overlook what the other side of the coin is. Should we try to be nice humans, yes, but don’t misinterpret this and twist it into lying to someone so you don’t hurt their feelings.
You keep saying all this stuff, where are your examples?
I have talked to allot of people about this. I actually had 2 examples of a blind person who can sing, and a blind person who surely cannot sing. However, I have been told by so many people that it would be very rude to post an example of a blind person who should not be singing. My views on this are mixed, I am not trying to actually ruin someone’s day, and it seems that is how it would be taken if I was to post a link to someone on AnyAudio.net who cannot sing. For this reason I’m not going to. Instead I have a special treat for everyone, a perfect example of a person who should not be singing, then after that I will post someone who should be singing allot more because their voice kicks ass.
First let’s get into an example of someone who should not be singing. This is the type of singer who should of been asked a long time ago, “what did you do with the money?”
Oh This is Ungood
I do have to add one thing before the actual audio, This was recorded by the blog’s own Hannibal, and he has major balls for doing this. This was simply for laughs, he says himself he would rate this 2 out of 10, I myself might give it a 4. Lets just say, compared to some of the stuff I’ve heard on anyaudio.net, this is an amazing piece of art sung by one of the most talented up and comers. The conversation where I asked him was something like. me: “so…how do you feel about embarrassing yourself for comedy and proving a point about singing?.”. Hannibal: “Like it sounds like a terrible idea, But it wouldn’t be hard to convince me to do it.”. Yeah that was it, If anything can be said about Hannibal, he is game for just about anything, this just shows how true that is. So have a listen below and decide for yourself if he should be singing more and publishing it to the world. sorry Hannibal, and everyone better realize the balls it took to record this, just imagine, most people who do this actually thing they are good at singing, so they believe they are gifting the world with their beautiful voice, this is not the case with Hannibal. He lives in reality, not some false reality he has only in his head because people have lied to him his whole life.
Also I might add, if Hannibal was to sing a song by a talented artist that would of been allot worse. However since he did Nickleback, honestly it is probably an improvement on their original song.
Music to my ears
Okay, now it is time to turn this manure truck around and exchange it for a nice sleek Porsche. I wouldn’t just leave you with an example of why someone shouldn’t be singing, of course not. Luckily though there are very few out there, there is one person I can use in this blog post to illustrate a blind person with an amazing voice. For those who have played STW in the past they might of seen or talked to a player named Marshmallow. If you were like me you never knew she could sing, well she sure can and she is rather amazing. This is someone who should be encouraged to sing, and not put on the same level as those who cannot. There really is not much Else I can say, her voice speaks for itself. She is not only a good blind singer, that would be insulting, she has a beautiful voice no matter who you compare it to, sighted or not. You can listen to these 3 songs and realize for yourself before I go on a tirade about how shit singers and their encouragement is ruining complements she receives. Oh yes and I should also mention, yeah she plays the piano and guitar as well while she sings.
Because Of You
Like I’m gonna Lose You
So what we have here is someone with talent. I simply could not decide on 1 song to put in this post, so there are 3 of them. Each one shows something different, and they are all unique. This is where my anger comes from, someone who has a gift of singing being told they are good, while someone who sounds like an Orc screaming out it’s death song is also told the same exact thing. Why must people hand out complements like they are worthless, save them for someone who deserves them. How is a person to know if you are just being nice and lying, or being honest, those with usable brains will always question praise not knowing if the one giving it is lying or not. And by the way, go to sound cloud and follow marshmallow, she should have allot more views then she does and her music is well worth listening to. Even if you don’t specifically like the genre, everyone can appreciate it, and those who are good need to be supported way more than they currently are.
Lets wrap this up
I know of others who can sing, but I cannot blame them for not having their stuff out for the public to listen to. You know who you are, and I only wish one day things will change and those who are honest start to give honest opinions, not lying to make someone feel better. If I could just sum this all up in a few sentences. If you can’t sing, good don’t sing, no one want’s to hear it. If you think you can sing but you can’t, this probably isn’t your fault, but those who lie to you. If you are someone who tells someone they can sing so you don’t hurt their feelings, just go fuck off, stop lying to someone and making them believe something that is not true. Many blind people are sheltered and if they show intrust in something like singing their family and friends will encourage them, even if they have to lie through their teeth every time they do. Just stop it, simply stop it! Be honest, stop lying to try and make someone feel better, all you do is hurt them in the long run, not to mention they will keep putting music out that is physically painful to listen to. I’m done, rant over.
disagree with me? well you are wrong, but you can still express why in the comments, that’s what they are there for. Those who agree click that like at the top of the post, those who disagree hit that dislike.