The Best of Lockdown!
This article is truly looking for a silver lining in a very dark cloud but hey lets have some fun right?
When it comes to the last 12 months I think we all are in agreement that we are sick of Covid!
Lockdowns, restrictions and all the rest leave us all dreaming of the day that things get back to normal.
The more I think of everything that has happened, The more I realize maybe not everything has to go back to pre-virus times.
So here is a list of 5 things I am not looking forward to going back to when we return to our old lives.
5: The Hand Shake.
Greetings around the world differ but many parts of said world the handshake is a pretty standard form of greeting.
As a person who hates shaking hands with people I must say I have quite enjoyed the last year with my complete lack of hand shaking.
I mean honestly the thought of shaking a hand that may have recently scratched butt just creeps me out just a little.
So the thought of things returning to normal and hand shaking returning as well doesn’t fill me with joy.
4: Hugging Strangers.
I recently read an article on a music site about how much we all miss live concerts.
When they shared the post they asked what people missed the most about live shows. The answers were predictable for the most part but a weird number of people said that they missed hugging strangers.
Now when I first read those comments I was confused. But it did start to occur to me that I have been hugged by a large number of strangers at concerts. and Music festivals seem to be even worse for it.
I can honestly say this is not something I will miss. Sure as a Male I have no issue when certain females want a free hug. However when a sweaty shirtless dude who is drunk and smells like he hasn’t showered in a week wants a hug, This is something I could do with out!
For some reason drunk people in general but mostly at live music events seem to want to hug one another. It is a concept I don’t understand.
3: Doctor’s Offices.
So slipping in to a slightly different direction I have to say phone appointments have certainly helped me in the last year. Sure there are reasons to see a doctor in person and the phone thing really isn’t ideal for everything.
But as a person who has had many cases of having to go to a doctor 45 minutes away only to sit in a waiting room for 45 minutes and then get told information I could have been given over the phone. This new way of phone appointments is amazing.
instead of 3 hours of getting ready, travel to and from and waiting around. I have a 5 minute phone call and I am back to writing useless blog posts and shopping for stamps on Ebay.
2: Not Washing Hands.
So if you are reading this post and you do not wash your hands after going to the bathroom I feel I need to tell you this. You are literally the worst.
But not even just the bathroom. As kids we are told time and time again to wash our hands. Sure kids play in the dirt and what ever else But far to many adults should probably take a lesson and wash a little more frequently.
The pandemic has forced people in to washing and sanitizing there hands far more often and I would like to think this behavior will continue. But the sad fact is it won’t.
You will still have people ignoring sinks at every turn.
Its not hard people. Just wash those hands. You don’t need to do it every 3 seconds. But remember that transfer of bacteria can easily occur hand to many other things. No need to risk another pandemic.
It is a fact that 2 people that didn’t wash there hands after using the bathroom then having a sexual encounter actually lead to the birth of Donald Trump. Even Hitler washed his hands. Do you really want to be worse then Hitler?
1: Leaving the House.
Now don’t get me wrong. I can’t wait for the return of live music, comedy and sports. Sure I live in Australia so these things are already coming back. It was strange listening to a rugby game that had a full capacity crowd just last night.
But lets be honest. We all have those things that we are obligated to do and yet we wish we had an easy excuse to get out of them.
Well if there was one good to come from a global pandemic it was the old excuse. oh I would love to attend your party but only 6 people are allowed and you know I live in an at risk house hold so better not.
Avoiding people has never been easier!
Some people might say it is in less than good taste to write this article. Perhaps searching for comedy in such a serious topic might be seen as offensive.
If you are offended or think that I am trying to make light of a serious subject please remember this. I really, really, don’t want to shake your hand!
If you hate COVID hit that like button. Remember by not hitting like you are supporting a deadly virus.
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One Reply to “The Best of Lockdown”
“It is a fact that 2 people that didn’t wash there hands after using the bathroom then having a sexual encounter actually lead to the birth of Donald Trump. ”Totally right.”
That’s what happened.
Worst president ever.