Lets be Elite


How to be pro!

I wrote an article giving help and advice on how to not suck at games. Well now it is time to take your gaming to the next level. This is how to be elite and pro as fuck!

The pro Gamer

The pro gamer. Not to be confused with the dedicated gamer. or the addicted gamer. The pro gamer doesn’t even need to be playing 24-7. They just need the right tools to dominate.
If you want to dominate the field your going to need a few things though. So let us begin.


Your equipment is key to your success. Your going to need the best dam gear and fuck knows it has to be brand name.
Raiser pro as fuck gaming devices right here. Doesn’t matter the cost. you need the type of gaming accessories that will take your gaming to the next level. You also need to know that when you tell people about it they will know your shit. They are not the only pro as fuck gaming device brand. But they have rep so use it!
So lets break down an equipment list. Keyboard. probably mechanical, When you live stream that shit people should not just hear but feel every press of a god dam key! It needs to be a gaming keyboard to. because no pro gamer plays with out a proper keyboard!
Headset. Yes it has to be a headset. high quality sounds and a good microphone. again brand naming is key here. Don’t be dropping some no name brand no one has ever heard of. you might as well go cry in the corner with the other shit gamers now.
Mouse 37 buttons absolute minimum. It needs to be more buttons then not buttons and you should be able to control every thing from volume to the heating in the room with it!
Also don’t forget about a gaming chair. Fuck knows how you mere mortals even play games with out one. Every real pro gamer knows that if you want to game you need a chair that cost 5 times the price and comes with features that no one has ever wanted or needed!
You can accessorize your gaming area With other things as well but these are not strictly necessary. These can include a mini fridge, drink or cup holder no one likes spilled drink right!
Feel free to take any other ideas you have and put them in to action.


Now this is the tricky part, because you need skills, and you can’t cheat cause then you are just a little bitch!
now all of the equipment above comes with at least a 10% bonus of skill in any gaming situation. So you need then only to gain the other 50 or 60% needed.
This is done through practice. usually on a secondary character. so when it comes time to show off your sick skills you can just come straight in and be pro as fuck!
Now don’t forget if any one asks how you are achieving this level of awesome. It is because of your expensive gaming equipment and nothing else.


Now you have 2 options here.
1: In your face.
You are here to kick the collective asses of these pore little humans that happen to get in your way. You will take on any challenger and you and your massive cock don’t give a fuck! The massive cock must be talked about at least once every 3 minutes or so as well.
2: Humble but smug.
Your here and you are pleasantly surprised you won your 487th match this week. And the only reason you can possibly imagine for this historic run is all this lovely equipment you have to slay each and every person that gets in your way.

The pro gamer life

Now remember to be classed as a pro gamer you have to either keep up your skills or quit while a head.
Remember that if you are pro as fuck for a while but then some up starts come and start beating you, you will have to step up and face the fact that you are not going to be remembered as pro, but as a cock nugget.
How ever if you dominate for a time and then step out of the arena you will go down as a legend. How ever you must attain a pretty high standard of playing during your time.


I really have nothing to say here. So I leave you with some words to remember for any aspiring pro gamers.
No matter what gender you are age or race, In the end to be a true pro gamer, you have a massive cock and every one else can suck it!

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