Rules For Gamers


Honestly I could probably have made this 5 rules or 25 rules. But 10 seemed like a good number so lets start here.


This article is actually an idea I have had kicking around for a long time.
But I finally got off my metaphorical ass. I say metaphorical because I am still very much sitting on my actual ass and got to writing.
So my ass out of the way. Let us begin on the rules that all gamers should learn to follow.

1: read the read me

Reading the documentation that comes with a game can be a difficult task. Some games documentation is pretty sad. It can be poorly translated, out of date, extremely long and detailed or just not existent!
Most games will have a basic keys list and simple instructions included, and as a new player it is your job to get what you can from the documentation before you launch that game.
You will save allot of time, Both for yourself and other people if you don’t have to ask questions that you should already know the answers to.

1.5: Developers up date the documentation!

Look this isn’t a rule for the players, but I figured if I was making this list I could chuck in a few for the developers as well.
It doesn’t take allot to include a keys list and a short paragraph to help out the new player. Obviously if your game is a complex game A more detailed read me is a little harder. But it is pretty rough if you have nothing included with your game.
An in game tutorial is a fantastic way to help teach players things but remember especially if your game has allot to remember. a keys list can still be useful for newer players who don’t want to play a tutorial every time they forget that you have set the jump key to be back slash instead of up arrow.

2: respect developers.

When it comes to opinions every one is entitled to what ever they like. When it comes to developers for games like so many things online people seem to think that they are talking to or about an object and not a real person.
Remember when you are annoyed or frustrated. The person you are venting to or about is a real person.
You don’t need to send death threats or stupid childish insults. For fuck sake these people are people as well, just like you You can say you don’t like something but don’t act like an entitled shit!

3: voice your displeasure in a constructive manner.

This can be about players to developers but it gets its own rule because this goes for player on player communication as well.
You will find games with sections you don’t like. Features you think can be improved or styles of play you think are exploitative.
Wait is exploitative a word. I’m not sure but what ever back to my point.
If you don’t like something say it constructively. Bring your own solution to the table.
Don’t yell cheater cause you don’t understand. Don’t scream fuck this because of 1 bug in a game. Don’t yell about what you deserve because some one else has something you don’t.
Take your time to think about what you want to say. Ask yourself if it is constructive or just you being a dick. Finally and only if it is really worth saying speak out.

4: if it is worth it don’t bitch about the price.

Remember that people need to pay the bills. You can’t just expect everything to be free. I know I have talked about this before I may even have written an article about this very topic.
But it goes in my rules never the less. Don’t get me wrong. You will come across things that aren’t worth the price or shouldn’t be charged for because of what they are.
But most things just come down to personal preference.
It is also important to remember that just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth paying for. If it was well made but just too hard, or not your thing. that doesn’t mean it wasn’t worth it. It just means you shouldn’t have bought it and that isn’t the fault of any one but yourself.

5: don’t be a shit to new players.

Look a little joke is fine every now and then, but don’t act like a cunt to new players.
Yes you have been playing for 10 years and know everything you could need to know about the game. So stop treating new players like they just walked in to a sign post while texting.
We were all new at some point and I don’t care if you picked up the game in 2 days or 2 years. Being a long term player is not an excuse to treat new players like shit because they don’t know as much as you!

5.5 New players stop acting like you are king shit!

Right on the flip side of that coin. New players don’t act like you are king shit when you first join. I don’t give a shit if you are PVP champ on that other game. That means nothing to me here and now. Learn this game, ask for help if needed. and treat others with a little fucking respect.
Also don’t try and start shit with people then mouth off about how good you are else where when you get smashed. It just makes you seem like a prick!

6: it is ok to ask for help.

Still on the new players thing but this can go for old players too. Remember that at times it is ok to ask for help.
This is almost the reverse situation that my first rule covered. Maybe you can’t solve a quest, can’t beat a boss, find an item or get to a certain place.
For some people certain tasks are harder. if you are really struggling there is no shame in asking for a little help every now and then.
Maybe you need to ask a friend or in a public forum. Just politely ask for advice on the thing you are stuck on. If you don’t ask at every step of a game and are nice about it, you will find people willing to help.

6.5 don’t be a dick when people ask for help.

Ok so this really shouldn’t need explaining but lets do it.
I get you will come across those who don’t want to do anything themselves and ask for help every 14.9 seconds. But especially if you know this player doesn’t ask for help often and they are struggling with something.
Just offer a little advice and move on with your day. You don’t need to be a troll every time some one asks for help.
Note: before any one says anything yes I am a dick and haven’t always followed this rule. I accept I am human and we all make mistakes. I just wish some one had shown me my rules 5 years ago.

6.5.5: read rule 1 again!

Honestly if you really need to ask for help so often that you got a little mention in the people who ask for help every 14.9 seconds from the previous rule. Kindly go read rule 1 again.
Better yet make a daily reminder for yourself to go off indefinitely to remind you of rule 1.

7: if a demo is available try it first.

Honestly it is 2020. I should not still be seeing people bitching about paying for something that had a free demo. Most games have a demo and if not you can probably find youtube videos or similar of people playing them.
Unless you preorder it you can probably get an idea of weather you would like the game before paying so do that before you fork over your money.

8: Not every one is an elite gamer.

So I sort of touched on this earlier but this rule goes a little bit farther.
Some of us play games daily for any where from 2 to 12 hours. But others don’t. Some people have lives, families, jobs, masturbation habits, books to read, music to play or listen to, movies to watch, porn to watch or emails to reply too.
What I am getting at is that some people only play games a little. These are what we call casual gamers. Guess what, I hate to break it to some of you hardcore gamers out there. Their is not a dam thing wrong with being a casual gamer.
So time to get the fuck off your high horses and remember that you aren’t better literally speaking then every one who doesn’t get addicted to games like you!

9: either get good or quit bitching!

Honestly I know I have talked about this before but it is absolutely required in this list. Guess what not everyone is good at everything they do. If you suck at a game that is fine. You do you and play at what ever level you are at.
If it really bothers you and you want to be like the better players. Take the time and get better. Work out what your doing wrong. how you can improve and then turn the time your wasting bitching in to actually getting good!
I have very rarely met a person who if they really apply themselves can’t get better at a task. and if you can’t get better and it bothers you so much. go do something else.

10: Have some god dam fun!

This rule almost doesn’t need a few sentences under it but just in case you don’t understand I will explain.
Relax, breathe and guess what. remember losing is not the end of the world.
Chill out and remember every one is just here to have some fun.
You don’t need to take the game so seriously and if it is getting too much. just walk away. Simple.

Final thoughts.

So truth time. This article was originally entitled 25 rules for gamers. I changed it after I came up with a list of 10 rules but didn’t think I could stretch that out.
But as I wrote them I had expanding thoughts which is how we ended up with some half rules like 6.5.
Did I miss any rules? Do I need a part 2 of this article? Would you like to see me expand any of these rules in to a full article? or do you dispute any of my rules? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter!


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4 Replies to “Rules For Gamers

  1. A great list!

    The only one I would add is that if you start hating things about a game and just can’t stop obsessing over them, take a break and do something else with your time and then come back again later and see if either you or the game has changed.
    I see this happen allot with people who play the same game for several hours a week, they forget what made them enjoy it in the first place and become board and jaded, nothing will really please them any more and sometimes they get too close to the dev and stop thinking about other players, particularly new ones when suggesting changes.

    I also want to congratulate you for your much improved spelling and grammar Hannibal, it’s easier to enjoy your articles now. And just to be clear, I’ve got terrible spelling and decent but not great grammar so I get it.

    1. Well perhaps a part 2 with a few more rules might be needed in the future.
      Also thank you. I like to think I am getting better. It also helps that I have an editor check over the posts before they go out.

  2. I can’t come up with rule examples myself at the Moment, but a part two for this article would be great.

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