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Food for Thought
Look I have nothing about bacon in this article so let me just say. Bacon is amazing and bacon should be apart of everything!
Introduction
It doesn’t matter if you are blind or sighted accidents happen in the kitchen. From setting garbage on fire with the stove to sausages exploding and ending up on the roof. Yes both of those things happened in my house.
But this article is about the little things. The ones that probably wouldn’t happen to a sighted person but for one reason or another could and have happened to blind people.
I want everyone to know while I am telling stories of my own and friends of mine, I am not making fun of anyone. We are all here to have a laugh but honestly shit happens.
So sit back and enjoy some of the worst food creations that ever existed.
Milk Verse Orange Juice
Why is it milk and orange juice often seem to be in the same sort of bottle or container.
This sadly means many mistakes have happened. I my self wanted to make chocolate milk one day. Sadly I put the chocolate powder in to the cup first. In went the milk…. well that wasn’t milk it was orange juice! In case you are all wondering…that tasted terrible!
Another friend did the same thing with cereal. I don’t think that is how you eat captain crunch, but on the other hand it is all part of a balanced breakfast I guess.
Some one on twitter told me they did the same thing but with custard. Now I’m not going to lie that sounds amazing.
Back to the main point here the last of my stories goes to a friend I new in school. They at least once every 2 to 3 weeks, in a tired state in the morning, would pore orange juice in to their coffee. You would think after a few times he would have learned.
A big Bowl Of Goo
One of my stupider moments in the kitchen was when I was trying to make jelly that would be jell-O for those outside Australia.
I wanted to make a large bowl of it so I filled the bowl with water to make sure it would hold enough.
to allow the Jelly to set I needed to make it in small amounts adding to it over a few days. Sadly I forgot to empty the bowl of test water before I pored in the first of 5 packets of jelly. In a bid to save it I added the other 4 packets and hoped it would set.
But as you have probably guessed from the title of this section it didn’t set. After four days I had a half set bowl of goo that tasted terrible.
Cakes
So I just want to address something here. I know I said I wouldn’t write about cake on the blog ever again, but I think I can make an exception for this article.
I have heard so many failed cake stories and so often they just come down to one little mix up.
Orange juice instead of milk is a perfect example. That one was picked up pretty quickly.
However I did get a story from someone who said they once made a cake and put salt instead of sugar. The worst part was they didn’t taste the cake batter before baking, they didn’t smell the difference and they got as far as frosting the cake.
Other stories of failed cakes I will include quickly but I think these are ones sighted people can also do.
The wrong type of flower” I mean this one sucks if you don’t put in self-raising flower when you need it, then suddenly you have a very flat cake.
Forgot to check the middle before taking it out of the oven. Well this one can work out but an uncooked cake in the middle doesn’t always taste good.
Fresh Blueberries in blueberry muffins. I mean you can do this but usually you don’t use fresh ones. The problem with fresh is they are to easy to pop. So people mix them up pop the berries and end up with blue muffins. Best use frozen.
Using Sauce
I know in my house we have quite a number of different sauces, and sadly once or twice I have put the wrong one on something.
Accidental hot sauce can be a fucking nightmare! While mustard when you meant to put BBQ can just taste terrible!
If you put catchup on things that has to be a mistake because no one does that on purpose. I mean really they only sell it as a gag gift to trick people in to eating it.
Smokes Exploding Brownies
Smoke shared this delightful story with me today. After baking a fresh batch of brownies he set them on the stove top to cool.
What could go wrong. Well it all fell apart when he bumped a dial turning on the burner that the brownies were resting on.
An hour later he said a sound like some one jumping through his window had him running in to the kitchen.
But it wasn’t glass from his window just a shattered baking pan all over his kitchen.
The lesson here? Use a cooling rack on your bench.
Ice cream
So I thought we would finish on something sweet. Get it sweet? Cause it is ice cream? Get it? Get it? Get it? Your not going to get it.
So this all came about because Someone shared the delightful story of poring bacon bits over a bowl of ice cream. Now this is wrong for 2 reasons. The first is obvious who would do such a thing ignoring the hole blind thing. The second is that they didn’t even try it. I mean you have bacon and ice cream they may have created a super food and didn’t bother to check!
But the best story of failed ice cream came from a blind friend I had years ago who forgot that her sister had made baby food and frozen it. Now the worst part of this story is it wasn’t even in an ice cream container. They just found small containers of something squishy and took one. The sweet treat they thought they were going to get was mashed peas and potato, so you know we can all just laugh now.
Conclusion
Did you enjoy this article. Do you have any of your own food fails? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter.
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