Blog posts that never Were


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10 blog post that never were and will probably never be.

It is important to note that while I can promise these as of the writing of this article don’t currently exist. That they will never exist in the future I can’t say for sure.

Introduction

Some times when I come up with ideas for blog posts I store them away in the back of my brain never to surface again. Other still actually get written down only to be ignored. There is one final step that has sadly come to some and that is a post I actually start writing but never finish for some reason or another.
So while browsing through some of my old folders of ideas and such I thought fuck it. Lets let some of these ideas out in to the world, and see if there is enough interest for them to get people to force me to write them.
So here it is. part 3 of our December countdown. 10 Blog post ideas that never were.
So I am aware that I am playing fast and loose with the definition of a countdown at this point but leave me alone these are fun to write.

10: Hannibal’s grate game ideas.

Over the years I have come up with some Amazing Game Ideas one of which you will read more about a little way down this post. But sadly I lack the programming skill to make all of my grate ideas happen.
I have reached out to several developers in this time. Alright I was on Team Talk and tried half heartedly to get them to make my fantastic ideas. So far no takers.
But so these ideas might see the light of day at least in brief 1 sentence descriptions, here is a few that might have received more thought had I written this full post.
Drinking sim: Its basically an app that has recordings of 3 people quietly sitting around a table drinking. just put it on and drink along.
Pipe Sim: Not to be confused with tube sim a game about the London under ground. Pipe sim is all the thrill and excitement of walking through various pipes with out the major draw back of actually having to locate and walk through any pipes.
Joey’s Return: This is a simple game in which you help a lost baby or joey Kangaroo home to its mother. Along the way you would have to befriend a koala, kill a crocodile, avoid an Emu, sneak past some deadly snakes and hope to god you don’t start using any of that terrible Australian slang. Don’t even get me started on the level about wearing thongs.

9: 25 ideas I came up with on the toilet.

This is a truly ironic inclusion on this list. Because not only is this a list item about writing an article that would be a list. I came up with this idea while on the toilet.
This all came about because some one pointed out to me recently that I say something along the lines of. So I was sitting on the toilet and I came up with a grate idea.
Not only have I actually said that but apparently I have said it more then once.
So I was going to come up with a list of my top 25 best ideas but I ran in to a very big problem.
I couldn’t narrow my list down to just 25 of my best. So in the end I gave up and shelved the idea to appear on this list.

8: Top 10 cakes.

As many of you will know if you have checked out the Black Screen Gaming site and checked my job list. You will know I am the official cake delivery person for BSG.
Now I was once planning to write a list of the top 10 cakes but this was all ruined.
Quacker (mentioned on this blog before) kept asking me again and again to write about cake. In the end I wrote an article called I am not writing about cake any more and that was the end of that.

7: galactic colonies review.

This was actually looking interesting and is also one of the more serious blog posts that you will find on this list.
This was a game made by the same people who made Crafting Kingdom. I really enjoyed that one so I really did look forward to playing and reviewing this game.
Sadly very early on I got stuck behind a pay wall. Unwilling to throw money at a game I might not like. I decided not to continue on with this review.
We will be starting a go fund me very soon to get Hannibal the money to play this game.
Crafting Kingdom still an awesome game.

6: Why Shakira is better then pretty much all of you.

Unbelievably there are still those out there who don’t seem to have truly grasped how amazing Shakira is.
For those who listen to the BSG streams you by now will get it but I thought of writing a post to explain to lesser mortals why they would just never be able to be as amazing as Shakira.
But in the end I realized that those who understood would get nothing out of it and those who didn’t understand would probably not get it any more after they read it.

5: Top Tear Patreon Prize.

Even though many have threatened to do it. Thankfully as of right now, No one has felt the need to pay 50 dollars on Patreon to get me to sing a song of there choice.
I did have the idea that I might offer this as a prize on BSG for a competition. Both giving the chance to make me sing a terrible song and give some one the chance to be a patreon for a month for free.
But I realized many many problems this plan which mostly involved me not wanting to do it and being unsure what the competition would be.
It couldn’t be a simple mini game thing on Crazy party, but who knows. Maybe some time in the future I will give this prize away. All in the hope that no one wants it so no one enters.

4: How to Facebook.

So several years ago I wrote an article about how to twitter. Now I might link it here but if I don’t know that I was to lazy to go look for it and I am certainly not expecting any of you to do that.
The point is I actually planned to write a series after that. I was going to do a bunch of how to for various social media platforms.
So I started on the Facebook part and I got half way through and realized I was just writing the same dumb shit I wrote for the Twitter article.
So I shelved that article for some time. Weirdly I actually returned to that idea about 6 months later thinking I could do it then. But I realized I didn’t use Facebook enough and the moment for comedy had passed.
Fun fact I had planned to write one for Instagram entirely based on nothing as at the time I had never even touched that platform. Now that I have started using it, I might return to that as a very very long awaited part 2.

3: The French Toast Simulator.

I mean I think this explains itself. This is a joke that has sort of taken on a life of its own.
I jokingly used to tell people who new things about coding that I wanted them to make a french toast sim. Just a simple game that takes you through making French Toast.
But this joke hasn’t died nearly 4 years on from when I first said it. I had this plan to write an article that would basically be an advertisement for the game. It would even promise a rough release date and then see if any one pressed me on it. But I scrapped the idea because then I would have felt obligated to try and make it.
But if any developer out there wants to make me a French Toast sim. My Twitter DM’s are always open.

2: Cancer and my treatment.

It isn’t a secret that I was diagnosed with cancer in mid 2019. I had 2 ideas about writing an article/articles about my treatment.
The first was all about what I went through and the treatments I had to have. I realized pretty quickly 2 problems with this. The first is that it really wasn’t pleasant to write about and I new writing about the last part would be hard to do. The second is that I didn’t really want to seek sympathy.
So putting that article aside I thought about writing an article about the funny things that I had happen during this time. Sure you might think cancer treatment couldn’t be funny. But it had its moments.
But in the end both these ideas got scrapped. I needed more time for lists. All the lists.

1: I really Hate Star Wars Episode 9.

I will fight every nerd in the comment section who wants to disagree!
I really hate this movie. It is bad in literally every way possible. It maybe the reason corona Virus happened.
From plot or complete lack of a plot would be more accurate, to the shitty sounds to the lame character development!
This movie fails in every way possible.
I would have raged about this in an article but to be proper I would probably have had to watch it again and I just can’t subject myself to that torment!
Fuck this movie!

Final Thoughts

Again I know this wasn’t really much of a countdown and more of just a list. But its fine my blog my rules.
Let me know in the comments below if you want to see any of these articles come to life.

Conclusion

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