How to rage like a pro!
This article is a work of comedy and should be treated as such.
I once wrote an article about people that rage quit. Talking about how much they suck! Well I recently got to thinking, What if people want to do that but don’t know how?
Lucky I am here and had nothing better to write about this week. So here ladies and gentlemen is Hannibal’s guide on being a total Grade A cunt!
First you must suck at the game in question. Oh sure it is one thing to be alright at the game even be good just not as good as others. But to really rage quit you have to really suck at the game.
To truly rage quit you have to be so far behind you can’t catch up meaning the only reason for staying is the fun of the game. But you aren’t having fun you are losing and that is why you are rage quitting.
Insults are a key part of rage quitting. Using insults to full effect can be tricky but it can be done but you must remember a few things.
First not to many and not to few. Use to many insults and they will just start to have no impact. But don’t use enough and you will just seem annoyed and it will not be proper rage quit material.
Second spelling is key. Don’t spell everything correctly. You want to seem like you are raging so hard that you can’t possibly spell everything right.
Third remember that if you are trying to be a massive cunt nothing is off limits.
Finally it is time to leave. You have had enough. Your insults aren’t getting you anywhere so fuck everyone!
You can use different methods depending on the game you are playing.
For a game with rounds leaving mid round leaves a bitter taste in the mouth of the person you are versing. Preferably near the end just leave.
In a game with pvp make sure you leave right as they are about to kill you for the 37th time.
Another fine choice is if they say brb no matter how long they might take just leave the second they say it.
Putting it all together
Set the seen.
Your playing Crazy Party the person in first is on 65 points after 4 rounds. Player two is doing ok on 43. You are on minus 26. The insults start. Your mother sucks more cocks than you’ve got points!
Solid first jab but it isn’t enough. A more in your face insult for the next one. Oh fuck this you must be fucking cheating!
Two more rounds and the scores are getting worse and people are just ignoring the insults and that is when the worst mini game in the list comes up.
You start the game but your just dying allot. Finally with a final insult, You can all suck dick with out me! You hit alt F4 freeing yourself from this cheater infested waste land.
I hope you all enjoyed this load of absolute crap.