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10 things to do in self isolation.
Now I am not saying that these are the only 10 things you can do. But this is a list of 10 things you could do while self isolating.
Introduction.
Hannibal is back bitches and with that comes an article that everyone wants.
By everyone I mean pretty much no one. and by wants I mean needs!
But this was requested so here is my list of things you can do while either fighting off or just avoiding the Coronavirus.
Take up singing.
Who doesn’t love to sing. Get in the shower and belt out a few tunes. But now you have nothing better to do so why not consider singing properly?
Seriously give it a go. I my self have decided to take up yodeling.
Better yet record it and put it on youtube. You could be the next big thing!
The way I see it you have 3 things that could happen.
1: you are amazing and everyone fucking loves you!
2: Your all right and no one really cares but your friends will say nice things.
3: your really shit and everyone will get a good laugh.
Now the third one sounds bad but you will be bringing joy to those people and isn’t that enough.
Some one wins in all of those situations so fuck it go try singing.
Get good at Crazy Party
Notice I didn’t say play Crazy Party I said get good. I mean plenty of people play and some of them are good.
But some of you out there really suck so why not take this time while you are alone and friendless…wait just alone to get good at Crazy Party. Who knows maybe you could go on a BSG live stream and win a gift card for your hard work.
learn to swear in 8 different languages.
Look who has the time to learn another language. I mean allot of us do but we choose not to.
So instead of that just learn the bad words. the ones you can use to insult people from other countries.
You might ask why 8 languages though. This is to make sure you can insult as many people as possible. and lets face it we don’t know how long this corona Virus thing will hang around. So start with 1 and work your way up to 8.
Hoard all the toilet paper.
Actually this might be sound advice. Based on the way the world has been acting I can only assume having large amounts of toilet paper is a way to beat the corona virus.
So if you can get all the toilet paper. Literally all of it. I don’t care from ware. Fuck it go steal it from friends and enemies alike.
Remember it might run out so use as little as possible but keep at least 87 rolls on stand by.
Complain on Twitter about how nothing has changed in your life.
For some people the effects of the Corona Virus will really be felt as they find themselves out of work, unable to visit family and friends or no longer able to go to the pub.
For others they will notice no difference in there day to day lives as they continue to stay at home as they always did. Unfortunately these people can’t complain about how much corona virus is fucking up there lives. So why not complain about your lack of anything to complain about.
Twitter is a void so feel free to scream tweet as much as you like.
Wish the sports you didn’t watch weren’t canceled
Look this is a real easy one because any one can do it. I mean you might be a sports fan but you are not limited to wishing just the sports you give a shit about weren’t canceled.
Like the awkward guy at a sports bar, Just fake it and hope that no one notices.
Yeah can’t believe the EPL is not on now it fucking sucks!
No NBA what am I going to do now.
How will I go on with out the WJBL.
I waited 6 months for the NRL and it gets canceled 2 weeks in so shit!
See 1 of those 4 is made up and you can’t tell which 1.
See the Corona Virus is your chance to be the sports fan that you really aren’t.
Write a blog post that no one else will find funny.
All of you stop looking at me like that. I’m not the only one that finds this article funny. I’m not.
Seriously stop looking at me like that.
Well I think I am funny and that’s what counts.
Well start your own blogs then!
Read exactly the same amount you were going to read anyway.
Reading is a fantastic way to pass the time. But fuck you already new that. As you read book number 17 for 2020 and its not even the end of march.
So why not read exactly the same amount but like any good book with a twist. Remember to talk about how much more time you will have to read now your self isolating.
Sleep.
During times of self isolation it is a scientific fact that you require exactly 2 extra hours of sleep a day.
This can be achieved by.
Turning off your computer early because your sick of the negativity on social media these days.
Over hearing about corona virus.
drinking less coffee you know in case it runs out.
drink wine because wine puts you to sleep.
or just napping during the day which I never could do before.
Masturbate.
I mean you have all this extra time and how else does one use the hashtag #StillMasturbating if one isn’t still masturbating.
So as a good friend once said to me. Grab hold of your willy wonker and give it a pull.
While I know that advice really is aimed at men, please understand this advice is for everyone. Men and women alike keep on masturbating!
Final Thoughts
The most important message I can give you is this.
Corona beer has nothing to do with the virus so drink up. Unless you don’t like Corona beer, or you are under age.
Also on a serious note.
This article was just a bit of fun. But stay safe where ever you are.
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